Faith and Doubt

in a Culture of Disbelief

  • Home
  • About
  • Milestones
  • Contact

5 Failures of Parents and Presidents

February 18, 2017 2 Comments

Share this post:

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Email

I’ve made many mistakes as a parent. And with triplets, every stage had the added burden (x3) to get it right the first time. I also felt pressure just to look like a good parent. I remember walking down the hall of our kids’ elementary school on several occasions to see an array of projects completed by every student in their grade. Or were they?

Many of them obviously were planned and executed by parents. If you’ve not had children, it’s easy to judge that. But when our kids’ three projects looked a little rough by comparison, we too were tempted to assist the next time.

This same scenario plays out on a national scale with every issue, as government takes on the role of parent with the next identity group the child.

While the title suggests a variety of mistakes, here are five examples of the failure of nerve among parents and presidents.

Never learning what creates value

When you inherit what someone else developed over a lifetime, it is important to appreciate the investment. I watched my former denomination get run into the ground by bureaucrats who had no idea of the personal cost to plant, revitalize, or sustain a local church. From inner-city chaos to healthcare, the federal government often lacks vision as well, cutting a pie someone else baked into thinner slices.

Misunderstanding the difference between leadership and management

“Management is doing things right and leadership is doing right things” (Warren Bennis). Some of us must have everything under control. Eventually the failure to risk will shrink things to a more manageable size.

Failure to let people fail

No one likes to fail, but my greatest lessons and growth have come through struggle. I’ve heard this same statement from countless people. When confronted with the pain of others, we often intervene, and sometimes helping helps. But identity politics is one example where leveling the playing field eventually can do harm. What begins as a course correction can become an over-correction. Strength in numbers that shields from hurt can also block the individual benefits of struggle.

Guilt-driven aid

A failure of nerve can drive foreign policy. When U.S. citizenship is viewed only as winning the lottery, guilt can skew our response to brokenness around the world. Well-meaning reactions to places like Haiti and Mexico violate principles that enabled our country to develop and thrive. After the earthquake in 2010, Haiti’s farmers suffered from foreign aid flooding the market. Sometimes aid can disable the process of overcoming difficulty. Similarly, rather discussing how many Mexicans should come into the U.S., shouldn’t we be helping Mexico get more U.S. into it?

Failure to help hurting people heal

Good moms and dads don’t react when their kids skin a knee. They may kiss the boo-boo, but they also let their children work through pain by providing a non-anxious presence rather than participating in their anxiety. What should it look like, for example, to provide a non-anxious presence to a second-grade who girl who would rather be a boy?

 

Related

Filed Under: Leadership, Tough stuff

Subscribe to Faith and Doubt

Subscribe to Faith and Doubt today and receive a free copy of Milestones.

Comments

  1. Abby says

    February 19, 2017 at 8:57 AM

    Spot on, friend!! Spot on!

  2. Mark McCommon says

    February 21, 2017 at 10:28 AM

    Many good points to consider. I liked the art Project at school… Obvious parents helping. And the comparison of a scrapped knee and a girl wanting to be a boy
    Parenting can be very difficult these days. God bless them.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Who is Behind Faith and Doubt?

Tim FilstonTriplets+1 Dad. Smokies trout stalker. Spandex warrior. Comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable.
More about Tim.

FacebookLinkedInTwitter

Get updates from Faith and Doubt by email!


Subscribe to Faith and Doubt today and receive a free copy of Milestones.

Main Topics

  • Personal Growth
  • Relationships
  • Leadership
  • News & Culture
  • Tough Questions
  • Great Reads

Latest Tweets

  • How Dickens keeps me hopeful about humans www.faithanddoubt.com/personal…

    May 18, 2022 11:24 AM

  • Read. Reflect. Lord have mercy. twitter.com/ahc/status/1526296…

    May 16, 2022 9:19 PM

  • Finally, an honest confession out here. I can work with that. twitter.com/HunterCrowder6/sta…

    May 16, 2022 2:54 PM

Facebook

Facebook

RSS Featured Links

  • Which Memories Should I Dwell On?
  • Liberalism Is (Still) a Threat to Fundamentalism
  • The Sermon That Divided America
  • Did the Fundamentalists Win? Answering a Century-Old Question
  • Encountering God Should Make You Afraid

Latest Tweets

  • How Dickens keeps me hopeful about humans www.faithanddoubt.com/personal…

    May 18, 2022 11:24 AM

  • Read. Reflect. Lord have mercy. twitter.com/ahc/status/1526296…

    May 16, 2022 9:19 PM

RSS Leadership tips from Tony Morgan

Recent Posts

  • How Dickens keeps me hopeful about humans
  • Ode to Motherhood
  • Can a Small Town Solve Big Problems?

all content © 2022 by Tim Filston | Design by Robin Cornett