Attitude: A readiness to respond in a certain way. If that’s the case, then a good attitude makes us ready to respond well. Surveys of what we appreciate most about other people put attitude at the top of the list. What can give you a readiness to respond well?
Answer: High “EQ.” Maybe you know your I.Q. What’s your Emotional Intelligence?
In their book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, authors, Bradberry and Greaves present tools to improve how you manage yourself and your social influence. Hopeful news for a parent of teens like me. That’s right. My attitude needs help…
This book proves how high EQ prevails over higher I.Q. 70% of the time. Here are three poisons which may be affecting your EQ:
Worry: Poisoned trust
Worry is like a spring-loaded plate stacker in a commercial kitchen–as soon as one gets lifted off, the next one pops up. The demands of worry can intrude upon trust and become a way of life. Worries tend to consume our attention making us less responsive to people around us.
Cynicism: Poisoned perspective
Cynicism is a lens which bends everything in your field of view. You see the dark side of human nature without the influence of hope.
Stagnation: Poisoned Growth (that is, FAT)
The Dead Sea has plenty of fresh water flowing into it–but it has no outlets. In a similar way, when we see spiritual growth as all input and no output, we tend to get “puffed up” (Paul’s words in 1 Cor. 8:1). Ironically, accumulating a wealth of knowledge without giving anything away makes us less generous towards new people and fresh thinking. Most Christians are educated above their level of obedience.
This prayer by Reinhold Niehbur’s known as “The Serenity Prayer” may help you with your EQ.
God, give me grace to accept the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish one from the other.
The Psalms are a treasure trove of self coaching. Often the psalmist talks to himself before talking to God. Not a bad idea. (See Psalm 103).
What are your self-coaching tips?
Kathleen Morgan says
Just finished watching the movie, ‘Blue Like Jazz’. Read the book many years ago, but I think it speaks to your entry today. Thanks for the insights! (Love the image of the Dead Sea too…so true.)
Tim Filston says
Thank you Kathy. This is a very insightful connection and it’s gratifying to me.
I’m definitely writing in that same spirit. I do wonder whether Donald Miller has gotten too far afield recently, but he has a heart to approach Ultimate Things from a place of relevance because of his empathy for people far from God.
John Calvin says
Thank you Tim, it is so sad to realize that I may have suffered cynicism without knowing, in deed I bend many things to my field of view, I think being a theologian I want to struggle with all that I see intellectually ! What a great eye opener,this has affected my EQ, I need to really have a positive attitude.
Be you expand further on cynicism .
That’s great Tim,